There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
