Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
