if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
