I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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