i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
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