I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
