Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I have already put on my inside pants.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
