Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize