I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize