I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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