Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
