i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Enjoy the penises
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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