Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
