I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
