we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
