Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
