I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
