Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize