I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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