I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
