STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
