I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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