fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
