Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
You are the jesus of drinking
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize
