I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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