I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
