loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
We had to coat check the pizza.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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