I like my sex mixed with concussions.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
So much rum. So many feels.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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