Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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