so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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