It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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