when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
