no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
