oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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