Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
you made out with another girl for some wings
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
