used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
