Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
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