remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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