State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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