Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
