My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
this boner is exhausting
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
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i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
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just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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