"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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