So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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