he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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