Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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