Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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