He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
time to smoke my breakfast
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
