I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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