We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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