i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
this hospital has no fireball
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
