im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
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