So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
