Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
