Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
