I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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