my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
