C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
