elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
