its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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