Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
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dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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