Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
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