nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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