Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
