i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Randomize