I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
