he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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